Fail.

Went to the dr. Meds didn't work. Ovulation did not take place. He had lowered my mg to 150 from 200. Being that 200mg worked so well... we are going back to that. Since 150mg did nothing for us. I guess we will see if this works. I'm really sick of taking these meds. The headaches and hotflashes it brings with it, are awful. If I get pregnant I'm sure I have a lot of those to look forward to but at least something good comes out of it!

Going to pick up my prescriptions today. As soon as our primary dr opens I am calling there, I still don't feel good and I can't stop coughing!! :( I need to go and get it over with and quit putting it off. I am not getting any better.

I don't have any other things to talk about. Just going to relax and enjoy this day off until I work tomorrow.

End.

Hello Blog...

Where have I been!?

You'd think with all the days off I've had that I would have made time to update my blog. You would be wrong... lol.

The weekend didn't go so well. Had a family emergency and had to come home from work. Had to sit with father in laws, mother and his cousins granddaughter. Neither are able to care for themselves. So we sat with them for the night and kept them company.

Miss. Lily my 10 month old pup was spayed on the 22nd. She's doing much better now. She had to stay the night at the vet's. I missed her!! Wiggles did too.

I did some work on my crochet projects. I'm such an old lady!

According to the pg test I took about a week ago... BFN. I don't understand cause AF is nowhere in sight.... I had to reschedule dr apt. I go in tomorrow at 10:45. I don't think the Clomid worked on 150mg this time :( Unfortunately. I guess we will see what Dr. P has to say...

I wish I had more to post but I don't. Hmm... still trying to make decisions on what I want to do with my life. I've been considering going to school for elementary education, I'm just not sure. I've been doing a lot of research... talking to my former teachers and a friend of mine who is a 4th grade teacher. My aunt teaches, I should ask her some stuff too. my 5th grade teacher said I could do my student teaching in his classroom if I move back to MI and choose to do that. I'm still so unsure. I just don't want to make the mistake I made with beauty school. I've considered physical therapy too. My Nana said the therapies are a good career to get into. Other things I considered but decided against are Nursing, Pharmacy, Criminal Justice- for Probation officer... And, I'm really interested in psychology and counseling but there's a lot of school involved in that. I'm not lazy, I just want to be sure about what I choose. Oh, and I considered Journalism because I do love to write. However, there's a lot of competition in Journalism... I hope one day, it will come to me. I can't work in retail forever.

Sore throat...?

Oh my goodness... I am so sickly.
I don't know exactly what from.

Husband has bronchitis. His dr said if anyone is going to get it...it would be me. But, my chances of catching it from him are slim. He said I would have already had it by now.

Well, I woke up this morning at around 2 am, with a sore throat. I had those other sick feelings (fatigue, headaches, lightheaded, hot flashes, etc.) And none of which have gone away. I don't know if thats a good thing.. I guess we'll see.

Dr. appt on Monday.

Bar skank....

I forgot to complain about last night at the bowling alley. In the bar at the bowling alley... ha! Stupid bartender wouldn't take her flirty eyes off of my husband. I don't mean to sound like the jealous crazy wife... but, this girl worked my nerves.

1st & 2nd bar trip: Husband went alone. She checked his ID... then asked "So, do you go by ____?" He said... "Yeah"... he seemed to be in there a little bit. Annoying. I asked if he was chattin' up the bartender... totally joking.
I was like... um.. I'm going with you next time!! lol. He said "Okay" & told me about what she said... he was like "Why would she ask if thats what I go by? Thats what it says my name is, right?" Lmao, no shit.

3rd bar trip & every one after: I go with... She giggled each time he walked in and was smiling at him. Completely giving me the bitchiest stare each time. He tipped her the first 2 times, and I was like...don't tip her!! She's rude to me. And, she was. So he stopped. lol. Then as we were walking he turned around and then she was just smiling and staring at him. And, when last call was...well, called... she closed up and was walking out of bar area...still staring. What the hell!? Get your own. lol.
I can laugh about it now, but last night... I was not happy. She had me heated.

C... not B.

Last night was the work bowling party. First we had dinner at Chili's then we went to the bowling alley. We had a good time. We left a little early, but that's cause we're just not night owls these days. We use to be, but now we retire early. lol

I took my measurements last night because none of my bra's seem to fit me well. surprise, surprise... I need an entire cup size bigger. I'm an idiot.

Long night! Got 3 almost 4 hours of sleep last night. Thats it. blahhh.
Worked all day. I HATE Sunday's, and not only was it a horrible day because it's Sunday, but it was a horrible day because I was, well... having a bad day.
This man... let his daughter wear her shoes (that didn't fit) outside. Well we have a return policy that says... No refund on worn merchandise. Um, hello...
Anyway, I tried to be nice and clean them and was more than willing to make them look returnable, but they were scuffed on the bottom, you can tell that the soles looked worn. Well, it wasn't up to me. Manager had the final say. She found them to be un-sellable. Well, I said okay. What am I supposed to? Go against what she said...? Well, the man gets an attitude with me saying "What? Couldn't clean 'em?" I said "I got them clean, but the bottoms were scuffed." His reply... "I buy a lot of shoes here... never again." I apologized and told him that it was the managers final say. I am not the manager and it was up to her. He continued to blame me. Whatever, I was trying to help him out. She wasn't even going to clean them to see if they were sellable. Oh well.

Got off work, went to food lion to pick up a few things, got gas, and came home. Gas prices...ugh.

Assistant manager, went into labor with her daughter today. I'm not sure whether or not Ally has been born yet, I would assume so, but I haven't gotten any news on her arrival. Hope all went well.
I cannot wait for this moment for DH and I.
Dr. appt tomorrow. Blood work.
DH needs to make an appt too. Pretty sure he is coming down with bronchitis again.
Good night. <3

Too Soon To Tell..

Headache.
Hot Flashes.
Light headed.
Irritability.
Fatigue.

If I am not pregnant, someone certainly wants to prepare me for it.
So... Today, I am feeling all of the above. Surprisingly we went to bed at 8:45pm last night, and got up at 7am. Soooo... why am I tired?? If we go by standard 28 day cycles... I would be at 7dpo. However, my cycles are not that cut & dry. But, we definitely have all the days covered with the "baby making" process.

Today, I worked until 4pm. And, tonight we have a work bowling party... really wishing I wasn't so tired. I'm kind of like an old lady. The bowling party is at 10pm... I rarely make it that late these days!! Husband isn't feeling good, that worries me. Last year around this time he was sick and was in hospital for 4 days for bronchitis. So, I'm worried about that being the case this year. Luckily, he feels "fine", he's just got a cough right now. Hopefully we can take care of it, as needed and get him to the doctor on Monday after my appointment. And, have it taken care of before it ends up the way it did last year.

Tomorrow is not going to be a good day. So, I'm sure I'll be my complaining self. Not looking forward to work- at all.

OH... I need new bra's. ASAP. All of mine are too small. I have the one I am wearing that fits, however... the wires hurt me! I had husband cut the wires yesterday so they wouldn't poke me as much. It helped. Yesterday. Today, not so much. It hurt sooo bad aat work, so I took them out and they make my chest look flattened out. lol
That is all.

I don't have a title for you...

Went and seen Scream 4, yesterday... it was pretty good. Fit right in with the rest of the series. Of course, we had to go see it, since Scream was like the less scary Halloween of our time, lol.

Came home and made dinner... Citrus grilled chicken, Chili rubbed corn, Brocolli, & Baked beans. It was a good dinner. :)

I am so moody the past few days- horribly. Like, I feel bad for husband for having to deal with my b!t*hy moments. I am fatigued, having HOT FLASHES like you wouldn't believe, daily headaches, and I am soooo irritable. I'm snapping at him left and right. And, then instantly... apologizing. I know he probably thinks I'm crazy right now. I love him for putting up with me.

I am currently on CD21. I should be at the dr for blood work, but, since it is Saturday, my appointment is on Monday (CD23). I go in for blood work that morning. Then, I go back for our Dr visit with Dr. P on the following Monday, which I believe is CD29. He will then give me a preg test, and go over the blood work results from the previous week. If the 150mg of Clomid did not help with ovulation, I believe we will go back up to 200mg since it worked soo well. If I did ovulate but did not conceive. He may want to do an SA on husband. I hope it doesn't come to all that. I'm still keeping fingers crossed for April being the month.

I work today, and I am soooo not in the mood for this day. I do not do well with Saturdays and Sundays. Especially Sundays.... tomorrow will suck, horribly.

Raspberry Lemonade Chapstick (Amazing)

Yesterday~ A much needed day off. Did some relaxation, and...laundry. lol. I sat in the sun and did some reading. Somehow without even realizing... I got a nice little sunburn lol. It doesn't hurt but I'm red on my shoulders and chest. I did some laundry then showered and got ready to run some errands.

Picked up my check @ work, and then headed over to the bank to deposit my check. Went to Walgreen's to pick up some Aloe Vera the husband and I. Also, got chapstick with some SPF for both of us. He's working outside a lot and poor thing is all sunburned, lips and all. :(

I hate driving in this stupid city during the day- It's ridiculous. Not only can no one drive... but this city is becoming over-populated. This guy in a P.O.S. beat up redneck truck almost hit me when I was turning into Walgreen's...so I slammed on my breaks and he almost rear ends me. Don't test me. I have insurance, you ass. I flipped him and his girl off, (I'm classy like that.) And, I pulled into my parking spot.

OH...I also had a free redbox rental- so I went and got "I love you, Phillip Morris" What the hell... now, I have NOTHING against homosexuality, but I didn't know that was what this movie was about. It caught me off guard. Needless to say~ I didn't finish watching it. Wasn't in the mood to watch two men make out, I guess.

Had dinner, went to bed. That was about my day.

Today, No work for either of us!! Yay! We have plans to go see Scream 4. I'll probably break the rules and bring our own drinks... Last time when we went to the movies, pfft... they charged $17.50 just for medium drinks and a medium popcorn! Thats crazy!! I can bring my own drink in my own oversized purse lol. And, just buy popcorn and save $10 lol.

Enjoy your day, followers.

Long, but much needed venting.

I told "A"... (She knows who she is) lol. That I would blog about my intensely irritating day yesterday. And, well my day just got worse AFTER work, so I wasn't able to post.




Lets see... since it's been a minute since I posted, I guess I ought to update you all. I also had an internet issue only mine is self inflicted. I'm an idiot and while trying to put my laptop to "sleep" I accidentally turned off the internet connection. F3 and F4 are just sooo close! lol. I had an extremely frustrating week. Sunday, we had inventory at work, which is always my least favorite thing to do. Monday, well I posted Monday. Tuesday, I barely remember. But, I do remember that every day this week, I've had the worst headaches and most intense hot flashes!!!! And, oh... I got bad news from my dad, but we wont know more until next Monday. I hope what he said isn't going to turn out true. It's so hard to be so far away with things going on in the family. I'll just keep praying. Okay, so lets get to WEDNESDAY's horribleness. (Yes, I am using that as a word.)




I woke up Wednesday morning, expecting it to be like any other day. I got ready for work, and packed something to eat for lunch. I got in the car, and listened to a burned CD titled "Summer 2006", It was a good morning- Always fun to listen to old music and the memories that are tied with it. So, I'm singing along in my car, I get to work, go in... say hello and walk to the back to clock in, and this is where I get pretty angry...




Our District Manager sent an email to every store in her district, addressing two complaints she "SAYS" she has been receiving recently from every store... The complaints are: 1.) Customer Service. Meaning, we are not servicing our customers as we should. Are you kidding me...? I say "hello" to every customer, ask them if they need help finding anything, and if they do...I HELP THEM. I offer to order shoes. I go above and beyond for our needy, helpless customers. And, the second complaint is really what has me heated. 2.) Cell Phones. She claims she's had customers complain about cell phone use on the sales floor. And, said since we cannot stay off of our phones- we are no longer "ALLOWED" to bring our phones to work. Ha, not gonna happen. I am 23 years old. Not 7. And, I will be damned if someone is going to tell me I "can't" bring my personal belongings with me to work. I am so unbelievably mad about this. Granted, I am guilty of having my phone in my pocket at work, but I do not use it when we have customers in the store, I have pulled it out- for time purposes when I am not wearing a watch. But, I have no problem leaving it in the stock room. I do however, have a HUGE problem with being told not to bring it to work. And, on top of that we were told to sign this paper.. LMAO. I signed. But, that does not mean I will oblige... I'm pretty sure my manager didn't have any issues with this in OUR store... but I guess someone ruined it for the rest of us.




Another work complaint I have... remember the woman I spoke of in previous blog post about the woman I work with who works my nerves? She did it again. I bring my own pen to work. I'm weird like that. I don't like using the pens we have there, that EVERYONE, and customers use. I don't know where our customers hands have been. It's the same reason I don't touch doors or shopping carts. It's just something I do. Well, being that I bring it so that I am the only one touching it, you would think other people wouldn't touch it! But no... that wasn't the case. I used a pen with green ink. When I came back up front it was sitting on the daily "to-do" list and the woman who will not be named used it. It irritates me soo bad. She also hovers over me practically breathing down my neck and looking at what I am doing. She kept looking at my stack of papers as though it was hers. I just wanted to say "these are mine, stop staring at them... and do something productive, while also removing yourself from my person". Ughhhhhhhh.




Okay, so thennnn... (I'm full of complaints)... My brother and I are CONSTANTLY fighting. I thought once he got older he'd grow out of this- I was wrong. He texts me yesterday says "Hey Sis", sounds like a good start to me. Well, on my lunch break I reply and I said "Hey, sorry it took so long to reply, I am at work." He said "Okay, whats been up?" I told him nothing that I'm just being pissed at my job and he said "Lol miss u" I thought wow, for once a decent conversation with my little brother. I couldn't have been more wrong. He then starts bitching because I didn't tell him that we were trying to have a baby. Well, I thought he knew, for one. (Which he did, our mother told him). Well, he was pissed off because he said he shouldn't have to hear it from other people. I understand that, but I didn't tell him, for the same reason all 5 of my brothers don't know, and the same reason I didn't call my dad and tell him. THEY'RE GUYS. I didn't think they'd want to hear all about their sister/daughter having sex and trying to conceive. Am I wrong in assuming this??? I also didn't think he'd want to hear about the problems we've been having. One, he wouldn't understand, and two, I just never thought my brother would want me to tell him about my issues with ovulation and the meds I take and my doctor visits. I didn't realize he'd want to hear details of his sisters gyno appt. I guess I should start texting him after I do anything. For instance, I have to pee, should I text him and tell him I'm going pee, god-forbid he miss out on anything! Anyway, I told him I was sorry but that I didn't think he'd want to hear about my issues down there, and I said "lol" and he got all mad because he said it isn't funny. And, that I never call or text him or tell him anything. I said "THIS IS WHY!! Everytime we speak you are bitching about something!" That does NOT make me want to talk to him. I told him he is not happy unless he is bitching and pissed at someone. Well then he told me he's glad to see I take after our mom...? I said "I love my mother, and thats a compliment to me, so thank you" And, he said "Well, its not" Lmao, whatever. I said "Okay, lol" And, he said "Bye" I said "Bye, lol". Just adding the "lol's" to piss him off. Then I texted my mom and said "Your son is being an ass, per his usual... are you sure he is my brother?". And, that was that.




Okay, so then I go back to work, finish the b.s. that I needed to finish and well, I get home, and after already having a bad day... it just got worse. DH and I got into a bit of a fight, I will take all blame. I was being a complete bitch to him, and I guess taking my problems out on him. He worked all day and is sun burnt, I felt bad... but he was making me so mad. It was like I hadn't seen him all day and then when we finally could spend time he stood outside talked to his step-dad for an hour in the garage after having been with him all day. I know it doesn't sound like a big deal- and it wasn't. I just was bitching for no reason. It just seemed like I had been home for 3 hours and hadn't gotten a chance to talk to him for even 10 minutes. Okay, now that I'm typing this- it makes it seem so much less important that it seemed last night. I then, unleashed all my worries and what-if's on him. I was crying at this point saying "What if I didn't ovulate this month", "What if the medicine didn't work", "What if I ovulated but we didn't conceive".... we were laying in bed and he comforted me and tried to pacify all my worries. And, he helped a lot. He's a good man. He wants this just as bad as I do. And, I told him I feel like I'm holding him back or ruining his chances of experiencing fatherhood. I asked him if he'd leave me if we find out I cannot have a baby and he said no. He said I am not something he'd be willing to sacrifice to have a baby. That if he couldn't have one with me, he didn't want one. And, that he's more concerned about my health and well being. And, he said he's worried about my future happiness. He kept saying he wanted me to have a happy fulfilling life and he doesn't want me to not have that if we can't have a baby. I told him that if we can't have a baby, as long as I have him we'll make the most of our life together. But, I still hope we can expand our family. And, I am confident it will happen, It's just not going to be an easy journey. But, maybe we will appreciate eachother, and our marriage and it will all just keep bringing us closer. Deciding to start trying to have a baby has definitely strengthened our bond.




I also was upset the other day, worrying about what will happen to my body once we do have a baby. I am not "skinny" now, and I worry about post-baby body. DH tells me all the time, he doesn't care about that. But, I asked him to help me and he said he will always support me but that he loves me as is. And, he still will with the weight from a baby. I told him I'd like to join a gym with him afterward. And, he said he'd like that too. :) I am going to just try to enjoy every minute, and enjoy every day. This is a process, but it doesn't have to be work. This can be fun. I just need to remember that it will happen when it's time. And, as much as I hope thats sooner rather than later, I have to accept the fact that it might not be. In the meantime, we will enjoy and live each day to the fullest. Enjoy trying and be that much more excited when it does happen. :)




I think all my worries and negativity are coming from no longer taking my anti-anxiety meds. I think maybe I ought to start taking them again. But, I didn't want to be on them when we conceived. But, I also don't think the stress and anxiety would be good either. I don't know, maybe I should talk to my dr about that one. lol

Matt or Nick?

Trying not obsess over becoming pregnant. But, I mean... its always in my head somewhere. And, with everywhere I turn there is a pregnant woman. And, I am so happy for all of them. And~ I will be so happy when I can be one of them. :)

With that being said... How is everyone else doing today? I had inventory at work last night, so I am absolutely exhausted, and my feet are killing me. I worked today, and for some reason, I stay sleepy! I don't know why. I guess since today is Monday, I should complain a little. We have this woman at my work, who I feel- means well, at times. But, there is something about her, I just don't understand. She acts as though this isn't her job. Like, she's just there. If you don't hold her hand and tell her what to do, then whatever needs done- gets ignored. Or, instead of doing something else, she takes over whatever task I am currently working on. I can't wrap my head around it, maybe I should keep quiet.

One of my dogs is afraid of storms, so he's been very jumpy today. I don't like seeing him so scared. I bought bubbles at the store today and it cracks me up to blow the bubbles and watch the dogs try to see what they are then they pop and the dogs jump back, lol. Too funny.

I feel like an idiot today. I sent my brother, and his girlfriend a card congratulating them on their new addition to the family. And, instead of writing NICK (which is his name), I wrote MATT... which is his twin brothers name. I feel like...an idiot. Thats really the only word. lol. He sent me a text and said "WOW thank you for the card, but my name is Nick." lol. I couldn't believe I wrote Matt. I am determined to try this again, so I bought a new card! lol.

I guess thats all for now. Oh, I finished reading Water for Elephants. Good book. :) I look forward to watching the movie.

Baby Dance.

I feel the need to share that the BD has been done. And, will continue to be done until I see that BFP. lol. Some might say how lucky the DH is lol... Since the joke about marriage is that married couples never have sex. I'm not sure who said this and put this into peoples heads lol. From my experience in marriage, this is not true. Maybe, cause we're still young. lol. Anyway, I told DH we'll be exhausted every month, but it will definitely be worth it. :) When that BFP comes... I will absolutely be the happiest woman in the world. And, he will be the happiest man in the world. This means so much to both of us.

Other than that... today DH did some work for my MIL. And, I did some MAJOR spring cleaning. And, I must say it looks good in here. We went to town, returned some movies, and we drove around. Top and doors off the jeep...I underestimated how windy it would be lol. And, then with every turn I wasn't sure if I would stay in the vehicle or not, lol. Luckily, safely we made it home. Haha...DH laughs at me for being scared, lol. I love him. Thats about all we did today. Watched the Craigslist Killer on Lifetime too. Now, Next Friday is on. Thats really it. I am sleepy. Gotta be up early in the morning to start dinner... in the slow cooker lol. Ribs. Yum... requested by DH. And, I have a work meeting. Ugh.

Good night. I'll write tomorrow.
-K

"Didn't we go to elementary school together?"

I was reading a fellow bloggers...well, umm.. blog. And, it got me wondering when exactly DH and I decided we wanted to start trying. It's funny that I don't remember how or why or any of the specifics. I, remember all. Anyone who knows me... knows this. I do remember that it was December... the year, I think it was 2008 before we got married. And, I also remember that we were in the truck we had in the Blockbuster parking lot. I stopped taking my BC pills that night.

After that... we continued to plan our wedding and we said our "I do's" on Saturday, May 23, 2009. It was definitely the single most beautiful day of my life. Our honeymoon was also a lot of fun. I'm gonna get a little corny here.... I could not imagine my life without DH. He is everything to me. My supporter, my biggest fan, my lover, and my best friend. He is ALWAYS there and always has been. 2003 was the year that started it all. :) And, I wouldn't have it any other way. He is an amazing man and husband and will be an incredible father. Sometimes its hard to believe that our highschool relationship made it this far. I was a 14 yr old girl with a huge crush, making a fool of myself with the first thing I ever said to him..."Didn't we go to elementary school togeteher?" He just kind of looked at me. lol.... and here we are... it turned into love, marriage and hopefully a family soon. It's amazing to think how far we have come together and all we have been through. I love that man.

Alright, enough with the lovey dovey. Today is Saturday, April 9th, 2011. I'm still feeling good about April. Hopes are high! :) I hope not so high that I will be let down.... Although, if this isn't our month... I will most definitely be disappointed. I don't think theres any way to get around that.

No work today, so I'm sure I'll be back...

"You don't have to like it..."

No work again, today! :) And, I have tomorrow off. These 3 days will have been very refreshing. And, they couldn't have came at a better time.
My mom said we need to do the BD everyday lol. She cracks me up. I told her that would be exhausting....her reply was "You don't have to like it" lol. I guess thats true. But, I don't want to make it a chore either.
I'm thinking pretty postitively about April. If this is the month we finally get pregnant, I will be etrememly ecstatic. We both will be!
I've got a pretty busy day today, so I guess I should put the laptop down and get to showering and getting ready. I'm sure I will write later...

My take on Nursery Rhymes.

Today, we were discussing Nursery Rhymes, and how they can be awfully negative.

For instance, Humpty Dumpty fell and was unable to be put back together. That's tragic! Although, I read the history behind this and it is actually about a cannon in the Civil War.

Jack & Jill... they went to get water and Jack fell and broke his crown!? The history- It's actually about two boys... Jack and Gill. And, its said to be a parody about Wolsey's uphill battle for peace and his eventual failure.

Rock a bye baby...may be the worst. "When the bough breaks the cradle will fall, and down will come baby, cradle and all..." Um...?? The history behind this one is said to be a warning to those who strive to climb so high that they eventually fall.

Little Miss Muffet...Poor thing couldn't even enjoy her curds and whey because of that damn spider.

Rub a dub dub... Three men in a tub? Enough said.

"There was an old woman who lived in a shoe she had so many children she didn't know what to do"... A single mom, living in a shoe...?

There is also one called "I Love Little Pussy"... Um, I know its about a cat, but read it... it could mean otherwise.

Maybe, I am just over analyzing them but they seem pretty screwed up to me. lol

My New Niece was born!

Lilly Alexandra Owens was born yesterday, April 6th, 2011. She's beautiful. I can't wait to meet her. I've actually still yet to meet her mother. =/ I live in another state, so it's not been convenient. :(

UPDATE

Okay, update to the last post... They are no longer planning a c-section for my brothers gf. She is dilating now so the doctor wants to hold off at this point and see if she can have her natural.

New Years Baby

My brother's girlfriend was induced yesterday. Their little girl has not arrived, they broke her water this morning and they're now planning on doing a c-section tonight at 8. I wish them both the absolute best. I wish I could be up there to see them.

I really hope April is our month. I feel good about it. Husband seems very confident. I, of course worry about...everything. I hope it happens. :)

We're both super excited and anxious to find out if we will have conceived this month. I found out if we do though... I will be due January 1st, 2012. :)

Five Alive.

In five days I should be O'ing. I'm not sure I like that terminology. O'ing could have another meaning to some, lol. Both, are relatively in the same category though, conveniently enough.

Anyway, today I worked, kept myself as busy as I could, and of course was thoroughly annoyed with practically each customer. I guess, I should have more patience with them considering that I want children as badly as I do. I got a little emotional tonight when husb and I were talking about babies. I'm so worried that it won't happen for us. It's a scary thought. And, at times I have a hard time imagining us with children, and that is horrible for me. DH always stays confident, and tries to keep me positive. Tonight he spent reminding me that every dr visit we have, we get better news than the last, and he's right...we have. And, I need to start thinking positively. I'm afraid if I do, then I'll get my hopes up and be let down. I'd rather be negative and get good news. Pathetic, huh? He also reminded me that though it feels like we're the only ones having difficulty TTC...we're among many. Hearing other peoples stories who have ended up conceiving make me feel better, especially those who with similar situations who conceive with Clomid. Maybe, 3rd times a charm? Lets hope so. :)

The rest of this week will be pretty easy. I work tomorrow, off Tuesday, work Wednesday and then off Thursday, Friday and somehow...Saturday. Sounds like a BS schedule to some... but I enjoy it...lol. I do not like to work. Maybe, I'm a slacker...? I need to get off my butt and get myself back into school and do something with myself.

The husband broke his finger, slamming it in the garage door...poor thing. It looks so bad, and swollen. I feel bad for him. I guess I don't have much else to say... So I'll keep you posted. I'm sure I'll write again tomorrow. I don't have any followers, so I'm not real sure who I am writing to, but if you're reading this... I'm sorry for the lack of excitement. ;) lol

So long headaches...

Last day of Clomid today. And, of course I have a headache. Probably the most prominent of my side effects, that and evening hot flashes! So, now that Clomid has ended those should all subside. In about 6 days I SHOULD be O'ing then. I certainly hope so. I hope this month will finally be the month!! :) I know how thrilled DH and I will be. We can't wait to expand our family!

Insidious.

Went and seen Insidious today. I'm not hard to scare but I think it was a pretty good movie. Kept my interest and I stayed pretty focused into the movie. Which, lately is no easy task. I often have a hard time keeping my attention on some things... Lately, all thats on this brain...babies, babies, babies! And, lots of other family planning goals, ie; moving, etc. It's April Fools Day, and I haven't played a single prank. Maybe, I'll get DH later. ;) lol.

April 1st, 2011

Today is my day off. My amazing husband and I are going to enjoy this day together! It looks a little chilly out but thats alright. We're gonna go see a movie, Insiduous. I'll let you all know how that goes. I guess that's really all I have to say. I think because its a new blog I'm eager to compose new posts! :) lol. Someone stop me, before I start blogging about my every move! Ahha. That is all. I'll TRY to keep away for a little while.

February/March

Doctor gave me Provera and 200mg of Clomid. I took both as instructed. My birthday was during this time so we stayed pretty busy, but of course made time for the BD! :) I started spotting one evening, which is NOT normal for me. So, after reading a lot about "implantation bleeding". We decided I should take a pg test. BFN, and of course I was devastated. DH comforted me best he could. Gotta love him. :) Next morning, to my surprise...AF arrived. Again, NOT likely for me. I called the dr and made an appointment. We looked over my most recent lab results. My levels shot up from the sad 4.5 they were to a beautiful 24! He just wanted 10, so 24 is fantastic! Course, we did not conceive, but our good news gave us hope! :) Clomid again... 150mg this time. This is what he recommended to avoid cysts and other complications at 200mg. And, obviously 100mg was not working for me. He said 150mg should be a happy medium for me! We are very excited and have high hopes this time. 2 more days left of Clomid, then we'll wait for the O days to BD...and then the dreaded 2ww... but it is all worth it for that BFP. Cannot wait! We're very anxious, nervous, excited, scared, etc. I just hopes this happens for us soon, our dr seemed confident that it would. I hope he is right. :)

January/February

DH & I have been TTC for quite some time now. With no luck. Decided to seek some help so we got insurance, and made our appointment with our OB/GYN in January. We went to the doctor, and as expected it was determined that I do not ovulate, which we already knew. Considering AF never shows up...Ever. Sooo, I was given Provera to induce AF and 100mg of Clomid to induce O. Had our blood work appointments and then our doctor visit... It was determined that my levels were at a low 4.5, he said 10 was ideal. So he upped my dosage. Next Blog Post will explain the next month!